panda trouble

So we have a problem, according to Time magazine, that pandas for some reason don't want to mate.

I think that photo has so much going on in it-it's hilarious. We see the male on the left, reclining back, and the female looking shyly away. And the scientist in the middle watching them. And I can only imagine the guy panda being like: "What?" "What do you want me to do?" "Will you please just leave me alone?"

I can't help but laugh at how many millions of dollars the the world governments are spending trying to breed pandas in captivity, and yet the pandas just aren't interested. it's like bamboo is some kind of reverse aphrodisiac. or maybe pandas just have constant headaches and don't feel like getting it on.

regardless, the article goes on to mention that various measures have been taken to try and get them to mate, including viagra and panda porn. panda porn. yes, panda porn. i can only assume that means videos of pandas having sex. i can just imagine the frustrated chinese scientist in the lab pulling out his hair in desperation-"They won't have sex to panda porn! Who won't have sex to porn?!" maybe they should try human porn, just to make sure all measures have been exhausted before they give up on this fragile species. (i'm trying hard not to laugh while writing this, as i'm in the library)

while i'm on the subject, the article also talks about what happens when they release these captive-bred pandas back into the wild. one of the pandas they released didn't do so well. they found him later after some bigger wild pandas picked on him and so they rushed him home to mommy(the scientists) to bandage him up before sending him back out on the playground. only this time he fell out of a tree. check it out. it's hard to believe whoever wrote this article wrote it with a straight face.