catch this

so they caught a collossal squid. apparently they're the same size as giant squid, just heavier. wikipedia lied to me, then.

but still, look at this picture and come up with something scarier and i'll buy you lunch.

more from the four loves

A man I knew was even subtler. He simply referred to his friends as if we all knew, certainly ought to know, who they were. "As Richard Button once said to me...," he would begin. We were all very young. We never dared to admit that we hadn't heard of Richard Button. It seemed so obvious that to everyone who was anyone he must be a household word; "not to know him argued ourselves unknown." Only much later did we come to realize that no one else had heard of him either. (Indeed I now have a suspicion that some of these Richard Buttons, Hezekiah Cromwells, and Eleanor Forsyths had no more existence than Mrs. Harris. But for a year or so we were completely overawed.)

This is so hilarious and true. And ridiculous, if you think about it. It's one thing to lie and say you know someone intimately who everyone has heard of. It's another thing to completely make a person only you know into a celebrity, or make them up out of thin air. It just boggles my mind, the depths we'll go to feel affirmed and wanted.

It reminds me of a certain English professor I had who always talked of this one "roommate" he had in grad school. He probably talked as much about little witty quips shared between his "roommate" and he as he did lecturing on Faulkner. There were other people besides me in the class who secretly wondered whether this roommate actually existed, or whether the professor was talking about himself-projecting parts of his personality onto a madeup "roommate."

Interesting thought, maybe.

a year ago

i was looking through my "moleskine reader" today and found something i'd written a year ago after having a conversation with one of my best friend's dads. and i couldn't help but think about how much i've changed over the past year, but that what resonated with me then still resonates with me now.

"talked with pastor brett last night. thompson and i had dinner with their family and once again left feeling well-fed and full of coffee.
murray brett is one of the greatest examples i've ever encountered of a man who fully realizes God's love for him. I see it in the way he loves his family and friends, the way he laughs, and in his countenance generally. Nathan's said that his dad lives his life putting all faith and need for affirmation on Christ. How many can say that if everything were stripped away they would still rejoice in the knowledge of Christ's love? I certainly can't. Not that pastor Brett doesn't feel pain. On the contrary, he's had a hard road shepherding his flock and is no stranger to pain.
He told me that it's only when we fully realize and are able to embrace God's unconditional, no-strings-attached love for us that we can begin to fully love others. How many times do we base our relationships on works? It's only how much we get from that other person, how that person serves my needs, etc... We base our relationships with others on works because we still base our relationship with God on works! Why can't we wrap our minds around grace?
I'm now fairly convinced that to fully love someone with Christ's love, you must be fully cognizant of pain and not afraid of it. It's not that you go into every relationship with fear and trepidation at the possibility of getting hurt. It's that you make yourself vulnerable, knowing full well and EXPECTING to be hurt by that other person and to hurt them as well. This is the sad state of things: We sin and will continue to sin against each other.
So how do we experience God's love? Our pride needs to be taken and smashed before us. Our pride keeps us from experiencing love from others and from God."

it's funny looking back on all my relationships with girls, or maybe my "non-relationship" relationships, and seeing my tendency not to engage them for fear of my own fickle and changing heart. what if i don't feel that same way next week? tomorrow? those questions always seem to pop into my mind whenever i become remotely interested in someone. strange? probably. because of my sin? definitely. it's an amazing paradox to be made aware of your faults and shortcomings. on one hand, it sucks. royally. on the other hand, it's so freeing to know that you're loved that much to be told to your face how much you suck at relating, and how much your pride and insecurity put walls up between you and others.

With a true understanding of grace, think how we could live! We attest to grace and yet we live as though our entire eternity with God is contingent on whether or not we go out to eat on Sunday, or smoke a cigarette. It's really laughable. I'm so obsessed with my shitty little steps to godliness or steps to manliness that I miss the relational aspects of the gospel-that is, the gospel is not a formula for a successful life.

in other news, the new damien rice album is very, very good.

CUBS PHOTOSHOOT